How To: Hook A Prince

So I missed my opportunity with the first born... but I'm not giving up hope yet of becoming Queen. There's still one Prince left and he's the cute one anyways. Who wouldn't prefer the freckly ginger? 
We all know how Prince William chose the future Queen of England, Kate Middleton. She was strutting down the runway in a barely there sheer "dress" and William, who was sitting front row, said to his friend, "she's hot." Sounds like a scene straight out of a Disney fairy tale.
I know little about royalty but lots about the power sheer holds over the royals. So I now present to you:
 How To: Hook a Prince
Step 1: Go to Mall
Step 2: Get that Kate Middleton barely there dress.  Luckily for us it shouldn't be that difficult since sheer was all the rage on the Spring 2011 Runways. It is bound to be plentiful in the stores.
(Can't Remember), Alberta Ferretti, Christian Dior 
The more see- through the better. Harry want's to see what he's working with, ladies. 
VPL, Marc Jacobs, Reed Krakoff

Step 3: Do not forget underwear.
While the Prince does not necessarily value the "leave something to the imagination" motto of dressing, we musn't forget, when Harry decides it's time for you to meet the family that includes Queen Elizabeth... let's not give the ol' lady a heart attack.

Step 4: Book a ticket to London

Step 5: Stay away from law enforcement. 
I'm not really sure how strict England is about inappropriate display of public nudity but you'll definitely be pushing the limits in your new attire so it is best to stay away from law enforcement. No Prince will marry a lady with a record. 

Step 6: Catch Prince Harry's eye
Flaunt your new sexy sheer look at all hottest clubs... you're bound to get his attention.

Step 7: Fall in love.
Step 8: Get hitched. 
Step 9: Live Happily Ever After!

9 easy steps. It is really that simple. 
Now you must promise me that you won't forget who taught you everything you know when your sitting in your throne. I wouldn't mind some thank you heirloom jewelry in return. 


gabriela said...

Oh, you're so funny :D Love this post.
And the Reed Krakoff design is awesome!

http://dark-blue-jeans.blogspot.com/ said...

WOW i love this post lol

so cool.

the dior dress is AMAZING.

Merry said...

Fantastic, I was planning at going to England this coming summer so maybe these tricks will come in use! ;)
Sadly the other one was cuter but hey, prince is always a prince.

Write this story down, Disney!

Amalie said...

Haha genius Tess!
I'll try that (;



You are hilarious Tess! Love it. I have faith that you can hook him and become a queen in no time!

Yajaira said...

funny funny.. love this post!!

Callahan Brooks said...

haha i love the post! good luck with that! really lovely blog as well, ill be following x


Christine @ Fanciful Vision said...

LOL! I love this! And I happen to be madly in love with Harry and always tell people how one day I'm going to marry him, so thanks to you.. who knows! :D

I'm your new follower! :)

x Christine

Mugdha said...

HAHAHA. Dude, I will definitely let you know if this ever works for me. Royalty, here I come!

Unknown said...

thanks for following! i'm now following you too and can't wait to catch up on your blog!

and i will for sure follow these steps since i wouldn't mind being royalty!
xoxo, jamie


minnja said...

Yeah, I love this post :)))



paislea said...

aaaaaaaaaaaaahahahah!! i love this!!! if only it were that easy, huh!??!

that is way too funny! you made me laugh for sure!

allister bee blog

Rosie Savage said...

I might give this a go ;) haha.
So funny!

Rosie x

Mia M. said...

haha, that is hilarious...! so "easy", too :)



Anonymous said...

ahahahahahah love this post!!!!


kisses from Italy

Anonymous said...

You probably shouldn't have shared your tips because now you will have competition! Perfect post.

:), luckynumber3.com

p.s. I have a link to your blog on mine now...i hope you don't mind...if you do I'll remove it.

Fashion Mom said...

funny post ! Kate have so much style x


Alinne's Style said...

ahah funny post!
what do you think abou we follow each other! if you want leave me a comment. Kisses Alinne



Frozen Fashion said...

Oh I didn't have number # on my list. I must remember to not let Her Majesty catch me without my knickers!

Such a glorious funny post! You made my day as atm I can even move one muscle in my body but I was able to use those five smile muscles!


Ciao Ciao Bella Donna

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Jennifer Fabulous said...

You are adorable! I love this post. :)

I think this is perfect advice for snagging a prince. Hey, if it worked for Kate...lol.

ching said...

hahaha i enjoyed this so much. and seriously that's kate middleton?haha

Prutha Raithatha said...

and ive been kissing all the frogs here instead!!! how stupid of me!!! hehehe

love love love this post

happy new yr hunny

Anonymous said...

Your blog is hilarious!
Watch one of your followers come out of the woodworks, take your idea into action, and snag Harry for herself!

Unknown said...

love this post!
following your blog now!!

Rohini said...

Haha, 9 steps doesn't sound too bad. I mean, the end result is definitely worth it, right? ;)

Morgan Jordan said...

Guh, I love the royal family. Wouldn't it be funny to be a part of them?


sallyannie☆ said...

Cute post! When I read that story about the runway I totally thought that you were joking and were referring to that excellent Amanda Bynes movie...I can't believe it really happened!

The Robyn Diaries said...

Hahah love it! I always thought Harry was cuter too, and obviously a lot more fun to be around given his track record ;)

R x

Secondhand Stella said...

I think Prince Harry is way cuter!!!!

thebirthdaygirl said...

LOL! Yes just 9 easy steps!!
Heading over to the Mall now to get my sheer dress...great post!

Tess said...

Hey everyone thanks for the comments! Yes, that is indeed Kate Middleton and that is actually how they met!! Hard to believe, right?!

xxo Tess S.

Anonymous said...

I laughed out loud at this! Great post. You're witty.

zs closet said...

good post!!xx


Curiouser and Curiouser said...

Hahahaha! This post rules! I actually nearly fell off of my chair laughing :D

I just love your style of writing and plan to read more from you in 2011 - *new follower* - keep it up! x x


Unknown said...

I love your blog! It is so cute and funny :) I am now following you!! Please check out my blog & follow me too :)



Serena said...

I'm only willing to do this if I'm guaranteed a rock like Kate's ;)

Great post & blog- I'm your newest follower :)

thanks for stopping by!



Isabelle said...

hahaha what a great post! so funny

Anonymous said...

Thank you for you comment! :-)
I like you blog!
I'm following now!
Follow me too if you'd like :D

Lini Trinh said...

wow like your blog, well done <3

captain kimi said...

Oh your blog is a true discovery. I love your quirky posts. Very unique.
I'll stop by from time to time ;)

love, kimi

allergic to vanilla said...

ok, um this is hilarious!!! thanks for cluing me in on how it's done ;) xo lina

Yasemin said...

You're so funny! I love your sense of humor! :D Thank you for following my blog btw! I'm following yours too! I'm looking forward to reading your blogs!



Stacy said...

love it, so perfect


Brittany said...

I've loved your last two posts, and your humor is very witty and I feel like I know you through your writing which is a +1 in my book :) haha


Jessica said...

☺ Absolutely love your post.

And I agree. He is the cute one. ☺

Eugenia Woods said...

What an awesome post! I love it.

sbot said...

Hahah. funny post.



Phelanie said...

Hahah this is hilarious and I'm glad you love Prince Harry as much as I do. My favorite is the Alberta Ferretti look. x

Sarah said...

This is absolutely hysterical! I adore your blog and will certainly be following!

Marina said...

You are hilarious :)))

thanks for stopping and following my blog:)

kiss Marina

Angela Alvarez said...




Madeleine Roberts said...

Hilarious..Love this post. So creative and for sure beats kissing frogs!

Kassie said...

You're hilarious. That aside, I am totally attempting this when I go to London, just saying its worth a shot! I'll be sure to invite you to the wedding.

Stolen Stiletto


You have a great sense of humour!! love this post!!




Celine said...

So funny!!!!!

Peony said...

Oh that's good! :)

Anonymous said...

Woman, you have hooked me to your blog. Haha, I love your sense of humor & the amazing fashion.

Anonymous said...

Haha, this is so funny, I just discovered your blog and it really makes me smile!

Elekon said...

OMG!!! I`ve heard a lot of jokes regarding William`s marriage, there even are new plates(decorative) devoted to Royal family: Wil, why not me? etc. etc but your post made me laught:)


Cecylia said...

I love your wit and great sense of style! Yes sheer is gorgeous...maybe only in moderation though...practically speaking

20 YORK STREET said...

Hear, hear!

I am your... drum roll please...

I am your 200TH Follower! This gots to be a milestone, yes?

I think we should open a bubbly! I know, any excuse to bring that up!


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